life’s a bitch.
why does it always hurt when it suppose to feel good?
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i’m tired, physically and mentally. i’m dead beat exhausted and i don’t know why. maybe this is my mind telling me to slow down, settle and take it easy for a while. a vacation in a far away place is really appealing to me. i really hate it when this happens to me. i feel that i am trapped in my own web.
mom’s finishing up with all her affairs, she’ll be going back to miami florida, for good. come february, she’ll be flying back to the florida keys and settle there. i admire my mom for having the courage to uproot her whole life, everything, and leave for another place. that’s 60 years of memories, when in fact i’m half of that and i feel that i would be leaving a lot. that’s one of the reasons why i don’t want to move to another country, i have a lot going on here that i am afraid to start back to zero.
i always advise to friends and colleagues that work is not you life, it’s a part of it. i am afraid to live the rest of my life that i let work run me, be the whole part that i don’t know what else to do. now that i’ll be turning 31 soon these things are creeping up on me. the thought of having a family, how unconventional it may be, my accomplishments in life not in work, things i should have done or have been by this time… i am hiding behind my successes that i fail to live my life. i was raised to believe that the goal in life is to succeed; i guess it’s not bad to succeed, everyone wants to. but for now, all i want is to live.
environment nut, yogi, non-vegan, geek who lives in the world wide web and hates the real one. non-alcoholic, coffee addict, shoes and bag whore, loves the color burgundy. finally, lights off.
