ka-dramahan

i don’t know how to feel or act or even respond to my situation. it’s a predicament that i have placed myself that although i am not remorseful i feel conflicted.

i am, somewhat, dating a married guy. yes, married. and the icing on the cake is, he has a 1 year old son. it wasn’t planned, like most of my life, planning is not involved except for project management that i really have to do it. i wouldn’t bore you with details on how we met although the exciting part of it was the tension between the two of us during that moment was undeniable, if not electrifying. i can still remember his smirk of half a smile that can give leonardo da vinci’s mona lisa a run for his money. he’s not straight, he’s not pretending to be but he knows he has a wife and a kid and he’s not denying that. his family is in bicol and he goes there once a month. he’s sweet in his own way; i see an effort on his side to push this whatever it is forward.

it’s too early for me to say that he’s relationship material, it has only been a month of dating, but what i can say is that i like him. i like him enough that my better judgment is laid somewhere and that the thought of his wife and kid is exiled in my subconscious. not constantly thinking about it, but still do. i still want to see him and likewise he wants to see me. i keep avoiding asking myself the perennial question that every kabit want to ask, me or your family; the drama! well knowing myself, i’ll blurt it out one day in the most awkward place and time.

i am officially a mistress, although ‘technically’ i am not since we are not ‘technically’ together. i’m not ecstatic with this new adjective but i have to say it’s kinda exciting. me, a mistress, a lover, a kept person. so exciting!

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