man rules
Thursday, June 25th, 2009At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
We always hear " the Rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes or no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1.. If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football, Golf, and Fishing!
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
from a facebook buddy.
listening to:
Wicked: Original Broadway Cast – Kristin Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Ensemble : One Short Day
ow far will you go to be a friend? erase that, how do you know that a person is your friend? i am not one of those people who considers acquaintances as friends; acquaintance is an acquaintance, nothing more. a lot of people feel offended when i don’t do friend stuff with them. i don’t know, it’s as if i am obligated to share my life, or what i had for lunch, to a person just because we sit opposite each other. i don’t even do small talk with my friends, why would i to someone who might turn out to be freaking jack the ripper. when does an acquaintance become a friend?
log hopping, i came across an interesting blog. it relates the adventures, and misadventures of a guy and his friend. i used the term friend as it is how the blogger called the other guy. they do what normal friends do, eat out, have coffee, watch movies, sleep together. they’re both gay guys, though not explicitly said in words but graphically expressed in multitudes of images and from time to time, a home made video. yes, according to them sleeping together is one of those friend activities-again, not in words. if you’re still a bit slow, sleeping together = having sex. what baffles me more is that they have ménage à trois with other people, most of the time with their so called partner. 
o judgment please, but i do want to pose this question: in a time of acceptance, tolerance and endless possibility, is having sex now part of the friendship plate? and how much of a friend are you? 
please don’t argue that they are not friends, they are because they said so, evidently proven by the abundance of the words friend, pare, buddy, and ‘tol.
