welcome to miami (at least the port)

one thing i like with my phone is that it takes clear pictures and the wide screen that makes it easy for me to surf the net and post this entry. made an impromptu trip to miami because of a family emergency. won’t elaborate on that part; i hate dealing with network giants battling it out for the exclusive rights of my family’s life story. in a nutshell i have to go here and deal. just for 2 weeks, a week in miami and a week in san francisco. i have to stop/go there. since i won’t be going to new york, san francisco is my shopping fix as well as my pick me up for this unscheduled and dreaded trip. hopefully dahon and i get to meet in s.f. at for a few hours and bring her to haight st. she loves everything boho and hippie. you wouldn’t get more hippie where janis joplin once lived. i actually bought 2 “smoking pipes” here. hehehe. but before i go on dreaming about that, i’m here in this  god awful place. it keeps on raining and raining, but at time the skies clear up, and rains again. at downtown miami, later to miami beach and then meet mom at the harbor for dinner. can’t wait for friday to see the golden gate covered in fog. darn it, can’t wear tank tops…

see you there

listening to:
believe – cher : Strong Enough

And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No you will not be alone then
And you will not be afraid
No you will not be afraid

When the fog has finally lifted
From my cold and tired brow
No I will not leave you crying
No I will not let you down
No I will not let you down
I will not let you down

Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains
So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
Until the end of our days

When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
And you will not be alone
No you will not be alone

this song captures the true sentiments of love, of care and passion. i can’t really put into words how i feel hearing this song, comforting me in those trying times that i wanted to just breakout and breakdown. every piano key heals every drop of tear. every breath he takes, he gives. every note he hit, he soothes. and i’ll never be alone. (download here)

 Something To Be – Rob Thomas: Now Comes The Night

do you stay in a relationship out of security or you jump on the wagon for something more exciting, more fulfilling but without assurance? how do you choose? how do you know what’s right? do you hold on to a promise or do you sail the boat against the tide?

listening to:
Beaches – Bette Midler : I Think It’s Going To Rain Today

it’s sad but that’s reality. the bright side of it is, reality doesn’t have to be. we are in a position to affect and effect changes. it might sound bull straight up from some inspirational shit head selling positivity, but it’s the truth. i really believe that everyone can do it. our collective small contributions to peace will pave way to having a world were conflict is a thing of the past. if we open our hearts and listen, if we take time to hear each other, there would be no war, no famine, no conflicts…

I see this one day
When all the world will hear us
That someday when all will stand before us
Singing one song together
Everywhere singing
We are gonna love you people of the world
We are gonna make you a better world
We will all respect you people of the world
We are gonna make you a better world

download here

yes, i do believe in world peace. promising that this blog will become earth friendly; power to the universe!

i am, somewhat, dating a married guy. yes, married. and the icing on the cake is, he has a 1 year old son. it wasn’t planned, like most of my life, planning is not involved except for project management that i really have to do it. i wouldn’t bore you with details on how we met although the exciting part of it was the tension between the two of us during that moment was undeniable, if not electrifying. i can still remember his smirk of half a smile that can give leonardo da vinci’s mona lisa a run for his money. he’s not straight, he’s not pretending to be but he knows he has a wife and a kid and he’s not denying that. his family is in bicol and he goes there once a month. he’s sweet in his own way; i see an effort on his side to push this whatever it is forward.

it’s too early for me to say that he’s relationship material, it has only been a month of dating, but what i can say is that i like him. i like him enough that my better judgment is laid somewhere and that the thought of his wife and kid is exiled in my subconscious. not constantly thinking about it, but still do. i still want to see him and likewise he wants to see me. i keep avoiding asking myself the perennial question that every kabit want to ask, me or your family; the drama! well knowing myself, i’ll blurt it out one day in the most awkward place and time.

i am officially a mistress, although ‘technically’ i am not since we are not ‘technically’ together. i’m not ecstatic with this new adjective but i have to say it’s kinda exciting. me, a mistress, a lover, a kept person. so exciting!

when i decided that it’s high time for me to move to manila and get my own place, my mom insisted that i move to sampaloc. i have tons of relatives here and that can/will help me in times i need some sorting out. which i read as a watchful eye on me when she’s not around. anyhoo, so i moved to sampaloc manila against my better judgment; i was set to moving to ortigas area, walking distance to my office. i am not big with my cousin, this one in particular; come to think of it, i am not close to any cousin of mine. i hardly say hi to him or his wife, keeping my distance to them though i am fond of his father tito ric. i used to see him a lot when i was a kid hanging with my mom like almost everyday. both my cousin and his wife smokes, his teenage sister also smokes. you can see their house filled with smoke and the ziggy butts in front of their house in the morning would not disagree. well it’s all fine with me but they do it in front of their 4 children, the youngest being a 2 month old baby.

afternoon around 2.00, my cousin was having his nails manicured when they smelled something burning. it was the children’s room in flames. tonio, the 2 year old, played with the lighter and set one of the pillows on fire. good thing that they were able to figure it out/smelled it early. the whole street was alarmed and helped each other put out the fire. cousin rushed out of his home and shouted fire! as he rushed to the baranggay hall. mom who was at the living room watching star movies got alarmed and panic. she called out for my yaya and started to barked out orders on which items should be saved. yaya of course panicked more and started to run in circles figuring out which will she pick out to save, headed outside to my tita’s building and waited, still out of her senses. mom, though still composed, was having an attack in the middle of chaos. my other yaya, yaya luring, poured cold water all over mom to prevent her blood pressure from shooting up. i have to commend the baranggay captain having 5-10 fire extinguishers handy in his office. miko ran to my tita‘s building and got another 5 cans of fire extinguisher.  the firemen came to rescue and dose what was remaining of the fire.

nobody got hurt, thank God, but the house is in terrible shape. from the outside, it’s all good but the damage inside is beyond repair. as for my apartment, it’s just after my cousin’s. although the fire was caught before it did some damage to my place, my guest room is all wet. when the firemen extinguished the fire, the pressurized water peered through the  ceiling and leaked to the ceiling of my guest room. all the books beyond salvage, the bed is drenched with water and soot and some funky smell from the ceiling. my clothes were stained, shoes ruined from the water, the hard wood floor of the 2nd floor is now dilapidated and the first floor ceiling is leaking like hell. yaya was able to save my 3 laptops and my gucci bag (thank you yaya!) while mom saved all our paper trails. aside from that, all is and should be considered gone. my new 55 cm epi louis vuitton keepall is gone even before i got the chance to use it.

all these happened while i was attending reno’s first born’s christening. i am here, posting this entry at manila hotel.

i’ve always believe that things speaks to you. shoes speaks to you, bags speaks to you, stuff speaks to you. there’s a relationship. before i buy bags, shoes, clothes, it has to speak to me. there’s a story that you develop between you and stuff you own. the jeans you wore when you first met, the white shirt you soiled when making a move on date; the shoes, the shoes, the SHOES! anyway , i love it when other people have that kind of relationship and i hope that you’ll have that kind of relationship too.

here’s an excerpt of the love story.

They have been a good friend and treated like a family member, and I would never sell or part with them.

read here for more jean blogs → evisu.com.

listening to:
FutureSex/LoveSounds – Justin Timberlake: Love Stoned I think She knows

have a nice day.

greetings from a land far, far away…

so starting last friday, i was eating again. more than i could bargain. i had shabu-shabu till i couldn’t eat anymore. i spent my whole weekend eating. eating and eating till i couldn’t eat. last saturday we went to serendra at the fort. had pasta at larry’s which i have to say is not that appetizing and not worth your money. everytime a new dish was taken out of the kitchen, my nose follows the scent. and i keep asking the waiter to bring me a plate of whatever i smelled. i was literally ordering the whole menu. i was that hungry, or say food deprived when i was hospitalized. yesterday, dahon and i went out. we were suppose to shop, but for some reason i weren’t able to. i only bought a light jacket that i can use at the office. i was trying to persuade dahon to buy the tote bag for her laptop at salt, a shop at rustan’s. but she forgot her rustan’s card and didn’t buy the really nice bag. we didn’t bother with our scheduled spa treatment at the spa, i lost my enthusiasm for a good massage over shopping. but for the life of me, i only bought the light jacket, and no more. we ate at masas in greenbelt 2. food overload! we ordered bulalo, laing and boneless crispy pata that is as good as the boned one because it’s too crispy. sad to say, the food is not as great as it use to be. we decided to cap the night over cakes at coffee bean with tales of how it is in the office. woes and frustrations…

yesterday i had my braces adjusted. i have to there are improvements, my jaw is now aligned. yep, i have a misaligned jaw. you can’t really tell but when you put your fingers at my jaw and yawned or opened my mouth you could feel my jaw in an ‘s‘ like motion when i close my mouth. it’s called the tmj or temporomandibular joint. my tmj is misaligned that’s why i have those chronic migraine. now my jaw is better. and my lower teeth is slowly aligning as well.  almost a year of braces, at least i can see and feel the results.

now, i just really need to gain weight… ideas anyone?

let me hate myself a little more since i will not be able to do my to-do list. i got back from istanbul by first week of august. did my usual routine, or tried to at least. a month later, after a long day at the office, i got home and saw a pile of letters all form metrobank. as it seems they have increased my credit limit (1 mail), congratulating me for acquiring 25,000++ rewards points (1 mail), my pin for my visa card so i can withdraw money from the atm (1 mail) and the dreaded monthy statement. i know i have been a little extravagant to myself and to friends (admit it!) this month. i love to pamper myself after a very tiring day or a very long journey. i did more than my usual shopping… like 100k shopping to be exact. spend less my ass! to my  defense, all is not in luxury. i bought a flat 19″ wide screen monitor for my laptop. am being kind to my eyes (health!) and it emits less radiation and heat (environment friendly!). and i did shop for my nephews and nieces.

[someone might kill me]… i might go back to istanbul. if all hell breaks loose, the whole team will go back there. and i will lead them to the pits of hell. my manager, argued that in any case not the whole team, which made me . then pointed out that i will still be part of the team that will deliver the product onshore, . so if the manila delivery team won’t meet the criteria on the first milestone, my ass is off to shawarma land. [am feeling irish's wrath...] am bargaining though that we’ll come back christmas time and be back right after. and christmas time starts at december 14, 2 days before irish’s grand-event-of-the-millenia-all-star-cast wedding. have i told you it’s for until february next year?

friend-who-don’t-want-to-be-named will be leaving earlier that expected. my gimik buddy for the last 2 years will be leaving for the swiss canal. well if i am to leave for istanbul again, i might drop by to the swiss alps and ski my way back to constantinople via the frozen black sea. never been to switzerland… i wonder if the snow there is whiter than the snow in alaska.

richard is in korea eating kimchi. hopefully he’ll bring me an autographed picture of martin. hay….

schizo who is with a new company now is, like me, bored as hell with work. don’t get us wrong, we are stump to our necks with work. but we’re bored doing it. it so happen that we are getting tired doing the same old thing. he wanted to quit but is like me, up-to our waist in debt. freaking plastics! and he’s crediting me for introducing him to beautiful things… is that bad?

everyone’s out of the country or leaving…

on my very first day here i tried simit. it’s a round, crusty bread with sesame on top. loads of it. it’s hard, literally it’s really hard. am thinking if i use this as a frisbee it can cross the bosphorous strait to the next island. i bought one because i was hungry at the time and every turk i see has one. i was so encouraged to buy one at the same time crossing my fingers. i didn’t like it, it was tasty alright with all that sesame but it’s too hard.

i miss my sinigang and crispy pata….

saturday following that, it's a glorious spring day; cool breeze and green-green grass. with nothing to do, i went back to shop. i just exchanged my US$ for some spending power-lirasi. went back to the tourist-y istiklal, for some light shopping and lunch. before lunch, i was able to buy a pair of khaki colored textured cargo pants with n pockets at little big jeans. too many pockets for me, but the heck, it fits right and vibes the right attitude. it's a local brand that was able to penetrate the global market, even new york. it caught my attention not because of the deep set eyed model that will melt you in a glance. no not that, but because they have a style with their jeans line named pedro. i am hungry for some filipino language, culture, people that even jeans attract me. more walking and looking around. 2.00pm passed and my stomach growled. since i'm in taksim area, why not indulge. saw an italian restaurant and had fettuccine in pesto and cream. sat at the window-less 2nd level overlooking the busy street. across is jimmy key, a local brand with really nice-nice clothes. but it's not the clothes, but the oh so yummy attendant that dragged me inside. but yummy guy dunno english, good thing 2nd cute guy (not my type, too boy-next-door-ish) knows english. both of them were at the 3rd level, bayan's (men) section. i saw this oh so gorgeous (not as gorgeous as him though) draw string pants, perfect for the coming summer. but their smallest size is small and to my calculation, it's somewhere between 30-31 inches by the waist. 'too big' i said. then a lovely white shirt with leaf detail in eggshell white. fits right so i got it. yummy attendant suggested a purple tank top. how cute, and kind. i said yes immediately. paid and bailed out.

all this shopping got the better of me. tired by 5.00pm, went to gloria jeans for coffee and cake. was spotting for a local cafe al fresco style but the local cafes are kinda scarry. remember the episode of friends when monica was trying to find a wedding dress? imagine me as the wedding dress. i love international food chain!

while eating, i was going over the spring catalogue of jimmy key that i saw this cool sleeveless hoody. i decided to go back and buy 1. yummy guy was still there but 2nd cute guy is nowhere insight. good thing the cute counter person knows english and tended my every want and desire . got the hoody in black and 2 boxer shorts. yummy guy keeps smiling at a distance while i was paying and him attending to another customer. hay… i wanna get his number. well there's next shopping day.

few more blocks i finally saw a starbucks outlet. quite pricey compared to other starbucks outlet in the world (converted to US$ of course). we ordered mocha frappuccinos. and here they are…

yes, you read it right. they wrote mrs. i didn't bother to correct them since 1.) the counter person's HOTT! and 2.) it's an effort to order the frap more so to correct them. no english! english wakaranai. there was a smoking area at the rear. we sat there not to smoke (i already quit) but because the setting is fabulous and the couch is so contemporary middle eastern.

since i'm a mrs now, a mr is in order. and i present you… lorenzo! the father of my would be first born child.

wanna join them?

Any minute now, my pamangkins will come barging in. and history dictates that I will be left poorer than my previous state. But who am I to complain. I love my pamangkins, I adore them. Especially the youngest by my eldest sister; we call him puyo because he has this devilish eyebrows the curls to the middle like a devil’s horns. He’s just 4 and he is very bright. He knows the color of money. You see if my sisters were to pick my wallet and get money from it, I’d kill them. If puyo were to do the same thing, it’s adorable, and smart! I really don’t buy gifts for them. The first, and last, time I attempted this was a complete disaster. None of the clothes were the right fit. So I resorted to the good old fashion, fool proof way of gift giving, cash. Ka-ching! And puyo always gets the denomination with the 3 heads. I think my sister has a hand on this. Last Halloween all of my sisters were here. Being that I just got back from 2 consecutive foreign assignments, my wallet was mostly filled with Australian and American dollars. None of the 2 currencies have 3 heads. But my pamangkin manage to snatch the $100 bill. He got the Australian currency though (lucky me!) because it’s prettier than its American counterpart. That means my pamangkin can read now. Yippee!! And sad as the same time, I am AU$100 poorer. Only puyo among all my pamangkins can do that, he’s my favorite. Because he’s the cutest and most adorable pamangkin I have. And he doesn’t squeal or throw tantrums.

i’m hungry, i’m thristy. i need an energy bar before they arrive. i need tons!

it’s just me and my mom, her assistant and a cleaning lady in our house. later it will just be me and my mom. this is christmas in our household. am not complaining, i like it this way. less people, less noise, less complications. all of our visitors will be flocking tomorrow, indeed they will be. as sure as the sun will rise on christmas morn, people from all walks of life will go to our house. even those we don’t know (and tend to forget). christmas is the only season were you will realize you have a gazillion relatives, lining up for you to give aguinaldos. neq-neq nyo! it’s not that i am a scrooge, i just don’t like people showing up on our door with that merry-gleeful look expecting ME to give them some money or gift. there’s only one time of the year that i give out sweets to strangers, that’s the halloween trick or treat in our village. and you have to be in costumes and stands less than 4 feet.

later i will be preparing for christmas dinner, meaning i will be cooking. traditionally i prepare 5 dishes, roasted chicken, a salad course, spaghetti, hamonado and morcon. the spaghetti is not for me. it’s for the children for christmas day. i like my roasted chicken with stuffings and the salad. i’m thinking doing a pomelo-shrimp salad with romanian lettuce, alfalfa sprouts and arugula in light balsamic vinaigrette to highlight the natural sweetness of the davao pomelo. the hamonado and morcon is a christmas tradition, when still my dad is with us. hoping i can do all before noche buena.